Nod of the Miter, Smack of the Crozier

This week, Cleansing Fire gives out the following Nods and Smacks:

A Nod of the Miter goes out to Ray Grosswirth for showing us all how valuable our sanity is.

Another Nod of the Miter goes to the people of St. Thomas the Apostle for proving to be tenacious defenders of the Faith. There's just something about the phrase "canonical lawsuit" that sets me all a quiver.

A Smack of the Crozier goes to Ray Grosswirth's yawning crevasse seen at 3:42. I didn't know that Ray was taking liberalism into R-rated waters.

Another Nod of the Miter goes to the user who pointed this out. No one should have to see what you've seen. Now we all know when to avert our eyes "for the sake of decency."

Another Smack of the Crozier goes to anyone who refers to a rosary as "Jesus bling." Seriously? You can't just say "rosary?" And, no, I'm not making this up.

Look for the next installment of Cleansing Fire's Nod of the Miter, Smack of the Crozier next week. Let's hope we all retain our lunches next time.

The Fruit of Fruits

Such eloquent and rational thinking from our left-wing comrades . . .

"Geeze, You'd Think The Guy Would Take a Hint."

Thus was the statement of a ninety-two year old DoR parishioner. I often have breakfast with this gentleman, whom I shall call "Sanctus." He has been displaced from his parish, but because some feel I "harp" on this parish, I won't name it. He is planning on going to St. Boniface, closer to downtown Rochester than . . . the other parish.

His conversations usually repeat themselves, with anecdotes from WWII, Kodak employment and a quaint cottage in the thousand-islands thrown in. However, lately his true colors of tradition and faith have begun to fly proudly. The following are quotes from recent conversations:

"Why'd they get rid of the altar rails? I mean, really, why get rid of them? They just made sense and made people stop and say, 'This is something really special.' they just elevated the whole Mass."

"Why don't we get to say the 'Confiteor' anymore?"

"Geeze, you'd think the guy would take a hint that people think he's doing a lousy job. I mean, for cripe's sake, he's ticked off everyone in the diocese." (Three guesses as to who this references.)

"The Latin Mass was just so holy. I mean, geeze, it was a holy language. I don't mind the new Mass, but the English just doesn't feel right."

"Why doesn't the bishop just leave the parishes alone and let them survive if they can and when they can't, that's when they should close? It just makes no sense at all. He's just backwards."

"These nuns don't have any right to run a parish that way. They don't even show any respect for the Church."

"Sanctus" certainly asks the right questions. If only we had the answers. It seems as if the people that are genuinely pious, genuinely educated (in a liturgical sense) and genuinely devoted to the Church all have one thing to say: "We want our Tradition back." From 10 years to 100, people want "the good old way."

Novena of Fortitude - Day 5

Today's theme: desecration of the holy sanctuary.

Novena of Fortitude - Day 4

Today's theme is "exile," as in, "exiled for orthodoxy." I am fairly certain that if you are reading this, you have either had a parish ripped out from under you or are in the midst of watching that happen.

In today's video, I quote Lamentations, chapter one. I strongly urge you to read the entirety of that chapter, if not the entire Book of Lamentations. Very moving and very telling, all of it.

I Doff My Cap To Thee, Oh DMV of NY State

I had to go down to the local DMV today for some paperwork etc . . . and saw the following question on a form. Please note, I'm not quoting it directly because I'm fairly certain that that would be frowned upon by the New York State "government."

"Assaulting someone while driving a vehicle is considered:
a. a crime punishable by law.
b. a felony, but only if you're apprehended
c. morally reprehensible, but not a crime."

Looking at the choices, I thought the question would have been, "Assaulting a lay preacher during the Mass is considered . . . "

Sr. Mary Know-It-All

While in Rochester for a short sojourn, I was graced with hearing a superb homily on the "surprising" amount of "experts" out there. The priest (yes, Virginia, there are priests who give their own homilies) explained how a nun at his first assignment interpreted this past weekend's Gospel:

"She told the children that the real miracle wasn't the multiplication of the loaves and fishes, but rather, the fact that everyone on the hillside got along in good harmony."

I should like officially to name this kind of modernist thinking as "Woodstock Theology."

Anyways, when he witnessed this occurring, he said nothing, for to speak out as a young priest is quite dangerous indeed in certain places. He wrote a letter to the nun, explaining how the Scriptures aren't open to interpretation, and that the miracles of Our Lord should not be belittled for the sake of "inclusivity." She wrote back:

"You are free to have your own opinion, as am I. After all, both points are equally valid."

Reminds me of that commercial on right now, which is embedded below.

Novena Will Continue on Monday

I won't be able to have the next Novena video done until Sunday afternoon, so I'll be continuing it on Monday. Sorry for any inconvenience.

However, here is something to sate your appetites for sardonic orthodoxy.

Novena of Fortitude - Day 3

We stand for God and for His glory
The Lord Supreme and God of all.
Against his foes, we raise His standard,
Around His cross, we hear His call.
Strengthen our faith, Redeemer,
Guard us when danger is neigh
To Thee we pledge our lives and service,
Strong in a trust that ne'er shall die.
To Thee we pledge our lives and service
Strong in a trust that ne'er shall die.`

Mass Appeal

Just out of curiosity, what is your favorite setting of the Mass? Is it plainchant or orchestral? Anything goes, just so long as it doesn't have gender-confused pronouns.

Novena of Fortitude - Day 2

Novena of Fortitude - Day 1

Contagious Disease Alert

The CF hotline has received a flurry of calls reporting a contamination of the Rochester area. Evidently, at least two DoR-affiliated people have confirmed cases, with numerous more people suspected of being infected.

The disease is called "It's The Parish's Fault, Not The Bishop's." The two confirmed cases are Fr. Hart, who stated that the people of St. Anne Church brought their situation upon themselves because they haven't "produced a priest," and "Persis," a new Rochester blogger who states that the closing of St. Thomas is because they are a "cold-hearted" people who are quite "self-righteous." The two people, both affiliated with the diocese and, thus, Bishop Clark, are in need of our prayers and a possible vaccination. And yet, they both seem to know what it is that ails the diocese. What is it, pray tell?

All I have to say is: Physician, heal thyself.

No parish should be blamed for becoming a victim of ecclesiastic politicking.

Novena of Fortitude

I thought that it is about time that Cleansing Fire had a "retreat," if you will. Therefore, starting tomorrow, I will be posting videos daily for the Novena of Fortitude. It is an abbreviated and edited version of a novena for Our Lady of Victory, but I have assigned each day a different theme:

Day 1 - Humility in Serving the Lord
Day 2 - "For a Day In Your Courts, O Lord, is Better Than a Thousand Elsewhere"
Day 3 - The Betrayal of Our Lord by Judas and His Subsequent Minions of Evil
Day 4 - Exile
Day 5 - Worthiness
Day 6 - "Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness . . ."
Day 7 - "Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice . . ."
Day 8 - "Blessed are they who mourn . . ."
Day 9 - Final Judgment and Our Lord's Victory Over Earthly Corruption

Each video will be about 7 minutes long, and features a scriptural lesson, litany of Our Lady, sacred music etc . . . I hope that, if you are able, you can attempt to go to Mass on the last day of the Novena. After all, receiving the same Lord to whom we pray can't hurt our orations and supplications.

Want Some Free Ice Cream?

If you do, be sure to stop by St. Anne Church, Rochester, NY around 8:15 on July 25th. It has been a tradition at that parish that, on the last official day of the Novena to St. Anne, there is an ice cream social. The thing is that it is only for people who have been praying the novena to St. Anne.

Something tells me that we've all been doing this, if only in our hearts . . . In that case, I think we deserve a little ice cream.

(Disclaimer: I am NOT saying that you should all go down to St. Anne Church and indulge at the cost of Sr. Joan Sobala. I would never ever ever do that. However, what I would do is accept the hospitality of a kindly old soul who enjoys lay preaching and long walks on the beach.)

Diocese of Rochester's "New Spin on Things"

I have friends "on the inside" who tell me that the Diocese of Rochester is trying to "make the Mass more exciting and fun." In order to help the diocese along, we made a poster for parishes to use.

Studying About the "Good Old Way"

I felt that we needed a "centering video" after our recent bits of hilarity and jocularity.

Liturgical Creativity Expert

So is the title in the Diocese of Rockville Centre for a nun who ordered a priest to stop giving communion in the hand.

Note: video is not mine. I just happened to find it.

Behold the video:

The Religiosity of Starbucks

I was asked by a friend: Why would God be a Caramel Machiatto?

My response:

Because a Caramel Machiatto contains a metaphor for the Roman Catholic Church, aka, "the Church."

First, you start off with a shot of syrup in the bottom of the cup: a small, but concentrated group of believers first worshiped deep down in the catacombs.

Second, you put in the milk: Missionaries spread the faith, diffusing the concentrated core of believers and sending the faith all over the world.

Third, three shots of espresso: Father, Son, Holy Ghost.

You can add a fourth shot in "Affogatto Style": One, Holy, Catholic, Apostolic.

After that, the foam is put on the top: like the zuchetto of the pope.

Finally, there is a sheet of caramel sauce drizzled over the whole thing: the clergy add sweetness and vibrancy to the Church, and without them, the Church wouldn't be "Church." Without this caramel glaze, it wouldn't be a Caramel Machiatto.

Ergo, a Caramel Machiatto is the Church.

Protestants would be a chai laté: made from concentrate, and from a box. Just like their theology.

Schismatic Catholics (aka "yeah, Protestants") would be a Decaf Caramel Machiatto: it sort of tastes the same, but there's no real kick to it. Why get coffee when you don't get the fulfillment?

Atheists would be Green Tea Frappucino: doesn't acknowledge the existence of taste.

Time for Another "Wrist Strong Campaign"

Fate draws another parallel between us here at Cleansing Fire and Stephen Colbert. For watchers of the Colbert Report, their papa-bear was injured a couple years ago when in the studio, breaking his wrist. Afterward, he started a "Wrist Strong Campaign," whose proceeds went to veterans and injured soldiers. Well, our dear Pope Benedict fell this morning and broke his wrist. Details are still coming out, so I will provide updates as they are released. All indications are that he is already back to normal, save the use of one wrist/hand.

Update: ROME, Italy (CNN) -- Pope Benedict XVI was briefly hospitalized after suffering a minor fracture to his right wrist, the Vatican said Friday.

The pope, 82, fell Thursday night in his room in Val d'Aosta, a mountainous region of northwestern Italy where the pope spends his summer holidays, the Vatican said.

He was taken to the hospital in the region's central town of Aosta on Friday morning after celebrating his daily private Mass, the Vatican said.