Diaconate Ordination - Part V

Let's see how many people you can name from the opening procession at the June 5 ordination Mass. This video is kind of like a who's who of DoR politicking. I have another video I will upload soon showing the second part of the procession.


On an unrelated note, we will be starting voting in the "Vocatus Es Contest" when we switch over to the new site.

Diaconate Ordination - Part II

Part 2 of a many-part series on the liturgical irregularities at Sacred Heart Cathedral.

I am certain that all of you have heard that absolutely atrocious setting of the Alleluia used by the DoR to celebrate feigned-diversity. You know, "Halle, Halle, Halle . . . .Looo - ooooo - yah." Well, I bet you've never seen 50 priests and a bishop clapping to it, along with hordes of deacons and lay people.

I have much to say about this, but the video can sum it all up better than I can. Be sure to watch it full -screen - I shot in HD for you. You can even see Bishop Clark clapping in rhythm. Now isn't that just the cherry on top of the liturgy sundae?

Diaconate Ordination - Part I

I was graced to be able to be present for Dr. Scott Caton's ordination this Saturday. While the Mass was certainly not as bad and riddled with abuse that it could have been (i.e. prancing gays in tights) there were certainly several moments of liturgical-disconnect. One instance that particularly stood out to me was the following clip I shot. During the preparation of the gifts, the choir sang "I Am the Lord of the Dance," accompanied by one of the Dady Brothers (secular musicians, mind you) playing the mandolin. Now, I love the Dady Brothers. They're great local talent. However, just because you're an amazing artists doesn't mean that you have the right to strum your mandolin, or guitar, or whatever in the sanctuary of God. There is a clear separation of sacred and profane that should be recognized by the planners of the liturgy. But, then again, we know what "liturgies" are permitted and endorsed by the DoR.

Anyways, the striking thing about this piece was that they're singing about Our Lord as if he's Garth Fagan, a dance master and glee-maker. About 50 feet above Mr. Dady and his mandolin is a life-sized crucifix, showing Our Crucified Lord. All around the church are the bloody stations depicting Our Savior's woe. Why would such a song as this be considered appropriate for a Mass? The Mass is a celebration and memorial of Calvary, not the last season of Dancing With the Stars.

Albs, Marty Haugen, Liturgical Dance

So much for a fresh and vital Church - from these things it looks as if it's stuck in the 1970's. Remember folks, the 70's died for a reason.

So, where do all three of these things occur in a hellish concoction of error? Yup, you guessed it, Bishop Clark's annual Chrism Mass. We have received information regarding what exactly went on there, so I will break it down into swallowable chunks for you:

• There was liturgical dance. An African American gentlemen wearing white pants and a white shirt flitted about the church and sanctuary of Sacred Heart Cathedral, adding to this "liturgical movement" very bizarre hand gestures which our noble informants cannot decipher.
• Bishop Clark, in his generally decent homily, started acknowledging different cultures, i.e. celebrating diversity. However, he added a new category of "culture" by saying, "Some of us are gay, some of us are straight." This was a random, unnecessary, and inappropriate statement. You don't need to do political pandering to gays when you're saying Mass. He's probably just getting excited about the next Rainbow Sash Mass.
• Sr. MaryAnn Binsack played the role of the she-monsignor, wearing her alb which complements her hair cut so nicely. Note that she stands for the consecration, just as many other of the women who like to play dress-up at Mass.
• For the Eucharistic Prayer, the whole Eucharistic Prayer, Bishop Clark was accompanied by piano. Our informant said it was like "Bishop Clark: the Musical." I was able to track down the precise setting used, and guess what? It's not chant. It's Marty Haugen's composition of the Eucharistic Prayer. Why do certain of the clergy insist on using this man's music? He's not even Catholic, but a Lutheran. I know Bach was a Lutheran, too, but he gave us the B Minor Mass - why don't we compare the two: click here for Haugen. I won't dirty this blog by embedding his rubbish. Below is a video containing highlights of the B Minor Mass. This is what Sacred Heart is capable of, what with that magnifictenly grotesque organ, the Eastman School of Music, etc. But no, we get someone playing the piano. Makes sense, doesn't it? Spend millions of dollars on the music at the cathedral, but then use a piano for the highest summit of the Mass. Yeah - no flaw in logic there.
• The only positive thing is that in the front row of the congregation was a woman with a head covering. As our informant said, maybe she will make some of the priests and deacons think twice about what they're doing.

I will be posting more details as they come in. Watch the Bach video to restore your sanity.

Smack of the Crozier Goes to . . .

. . . whoever plans the liturgies at Sacred Heart Cathedral.

Why?

Usually, I can rely on the best talent to perform for these Masses, such as Thomas Warfield, Nazareth College dancers, etc. However, the Cathedral Community is not trying as hard as they ought to be to bring in the best of the best, in terms of liturgical dancing. They obviously have not seen Stephen Colbert's unrivaled talent. Watch the video below, and see the splendor of the "progressive" Church.

Male liturgical dancer

I lifted this from Patrick Madrid's blog. I would go to see him just to laugh my head off, even though I was in church. It would just be too funny for words.

Diocesan Norms - The Movie

Well, just as we released Pope Joan: the Musical, we now release Diocesan Norms: the Movie.



To the first person who says we harp on certain people: certain people continue to do things which cause us to harp.

To the first person who says we are un-Christian: we act with more Christian charity than those about whom we write.

New Processional Hymn

This would be the best song to use for liturgical dancing. It even has religious words and themes in it They have words like "judgment day", "Lord", "hallelujah", "Promised Land", they even sing about "washing sins away". Just imagine Thomas Warfield standing in for Judy Garland and we could get some ushers or usherettes to fill in as dancers. on the other hand, instead of Warfield, would get have Sister Joan and the dancers could be some priests of the diocese that like her. Too bad Jerome Robbins has died, he could have choreographed it for the diocese.

Seriously this would get everybody in a happy mood and the celebration would get kicked-off with a lot of energy and enthusiasm. The possibilities are endless of where this could go. We could send liturgy into another galaxy of stars.