If We Were a Parish

Lately, I have been thinking about the certain parishes that are growing, those that are closing, those that are diverse, those that are lily-white, those that are young, those that are old. I have come to the conclusion that, if we the people of Cleansing Fire were to literally band together to have a parish, we could.

For instance:

• We have around 300 unique readers each day. Most parishes get maybe 20-50 for a daily Mass. 
• We have more liturgical know-how than any of the lay administrators running various churches, i.e. St. Mary's, St. Anne, Guardian Angels, Good Shepherd. While these parishes have maybe one or two full-time priests, we have at least eight local priests, twenty local nuns, and several local deacons all reading on a regular basis. Some have even ordered and distributed prayer cards. 
• We have a better sense of the difference between sacred and profane - just look at the Catholic eye candy all over the site.
• We have a schola (choir). We hope to have our first recording out sometime before the summer. The talent in this schola is also unrivaled in about 90% of parishes. (If you wish to join, email me at cleansingfire@live.com)
• We have also received the same number of visits from the bishop as has Our Lady of Victory and the Latin Mass Community combined. (0+0=0)

Now the things which we don't have:

• We don't have any altar girls. (No offense to Ink - I feel certain you conduct yourself with dignity.)
• We don't have any women in albs preaching. 
• We don't have Thomas Warfield flitting about our living rooms. 
• We don't have armies of EMHC's (Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion).
• We don't have rainbow banners.
• We don't have glass or clay vessels for the Blessed Sacrament.
• We don't have transgendered crucifixes.
• We don't have gay pride prayer services. 
• We don't have a closed-down school on our campus.
• We don't have a cluttered sanctuary. (To be realistic, we don't have a sanctuary at all. Yet.)
• We don't have pizza parties in our pews.
• We don't have picnic Masses.

Sort of makes you wish we had our own Cleansing Fire chapel, doesn't it? Well, we can dream.

This brings me to a question for you all. Please post your answers in the comment section.

• If we actually had a chapel, what would it be called? Who would the patron saint be?